Excerpt from my book “WRECKED”

To not have your suffering recognized is a form of violent neglect.  Until recently I couldn’t handle silence.  I had to have some sort of white noise. To drown out those thoughts that squiggle to the surface. 

   But now I crave silence. The neglected memories no longer lay dormant in the back cages of my mind. I’ve freed them. But they still hang around. Laying their permeable surfaces open to new memories. In a interfusion of past and present. Creating something new in me. Like the blend of my art and my writing. Writing preexisted my art, but again I neglected it for a solid twenty years.  Like my hometown, I loved it-but I left it. My friends, I loved them-but I left them. My writing-I loved them, but I left them. My house, the land-I loved it but I left it.  Self protection I suppose. To leave those things, and people that were bound not by their will to my  virulent past; was not only self-protection but temporary salvation.  

  My painting of the woman floating in the water brings its exquisite silence almost tangible upon viewing. Part of me floats in the water with her. Hauntingly still. Waiting. 

After the epic battle of my past and my present, the old me and the new have found a way to coexist. I had no idea that there was room. If there’s room, then there’s room for me to be a mother, wife, writer, artist, sister and often daughter.  

All these years the guilt I carried like an albatross carries little footing. It barely holds on as I kick it off my foot every morning.  “WRECKED”©️

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Finalized #4 of WRECKED and using the same heated transparent tones added into the big figurative “Rebirth”. The sun WAS about then disappeared again 😫

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Adding in the heat on “Rebirth”, 5ft big one 

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Whited out and repositioned her arms/hands. They’re hard to see here but the hands will have great definition. Rework of her stature 5ft almost to size #rework 

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Boe’s in front of the weekly lineup🤣. Changed the The 5fter to skin tone, I’ll work on getting her a dynamic stance, a sense of movement tomorrow. “Rebirth” 60x48 

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Done”, I am actually naming it that. 48x48 •WRECKED• series. The brick is what I have left from the fireplace. I kept one for my brother too. #fireplace #forest #fire #forestfire #art #painting #breakingthrough #california #wrecked #modernart #contemporaryart #artist #artstudio 

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Final touching 3 of the •WRECKED• series. About to start submitting them. If your curious what my biographical series is about dm me. #memoir #biography #wrecked #forestfire 

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Back topainting the •WRECKED• series. I wanted to give this one a sort of memory feel.Since it is between young me and Sahara (the horse we were supposed to get when I was little. Wrecked is my memoir (I’ve been writing my story along with each piece) it’s a story of renewal, refined by fire literally and spiritually. The fire that took my hometown forced me to deal with stuff I pushed away for 20 some years. I’m a very private person so opening up is incredibly difficult. I just hope I can help someone. It also showed me my love for my hometown. God put meand my family there for a reason. The trees, the mountains, the people got us through a hard time. I think for me saying goodbye to the trees I loved so much was worse then the house. I still pause when I hear the wind through the tall trees in Long Beach. #wrecked 

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Chartreuse highlights, magenta and bright pink highs/lows on the 60x48 #5 of •WRECKED• #art #koifish #koi #koifishart #painting #brushwork #modernart #france #contemporaryart #gallery #artstudio #losangeles #belgium #madrid #newyork #london #interiordesign #decor #artcollector

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Sketching in Sahara with paint/charcoal. When I was little my parents were all set to buy a retired Race Horse named Sahara Shizad. We had a coral for her. She wasn’t white but I’m going to paint her white. They didn’t end up buying her. I was so sad. I always wondered where she went, if she was still alive. I would have taken such good care of her. The corralmay be burned downthis past summer. But I can sure paint my memories •WRECKED• series 

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Rework of “Had To” #3 of WRECKED

4ft x4ft “Had To” #3 in •WRECKED• series . I was almost done but yesterday I restructured her skin. I wanted her linesto be more muted, so I blended a transparent layer all over around her skin. She’s in water, I didn’t paint prominent reflective lines as I wanted an eerie morose beauty to arose from the piece. This piece is EXTREMELY hard to photograph as it has so many transparent layers that just can’t quite get captured on camera. I added more depth to her dress as well as the background. #art #painting #anatomystudy #interiordesign #artofinstagram #figurativeart #figurepainting #abstractart #artgallery #decor #artist #arte #losangeles #london #japan #ladyinthelake

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Almost done with 48x48

48x48 Lady in the Lake (not the title) is almost done. 

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Kicking it up

Decided to start adding in some street art elements, because I looooove them.  I’ll add more transparent neon later. Her hand and face need more work...but my hand needs a break. #streetart #fashionar

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Fire Series #5

Started painting the new 48x36 of my Fire Series. Working on her hand, flames and eyes today. Dm me for paint mixing 

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Fire Series #5

Started painting the new 48x36 of my Fire Series. Working on her hand, flames and eyes today. Dm me for paint mixing 

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quick start to #5 of the Fire Series, 48x36 Pic one is the sketch and I set it with white paint since I used vine charcoal which dusts of easily. Just the start, this one is going to be slight eerie-she’ll be holding fire with a constant look on her face. I’m going to do realistic detail to her hand. I’ve had a plan on this one and the next-which I just picked up a BIG 60x48 canvas today for the next. I’m really excited about this one #

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Day 3, started painting her face which is extremely difficult due to the immense texture from the painting beneath it

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Started paintingmy new ladyfloating in water with fire nearby/part #4 in my Fire Series 

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I made my own medium to cover an old 48x48 the I did a quick sketch of a lady floating in water. For me it really helps me to reverse sketch in white on a dark surface to see my plan

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Excuse the glare, tons of wet paint .Part 3 in my Fire Series.Angled shots to show the texture. Almost finished with this one. Back story on the blog a few posts ago 

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